I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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