Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
two words...techno handjob
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
