So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize