I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
