Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking

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(914): View more from New York

Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!

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(216): View more from Ohio

She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm never eating chinese again.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.

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(917): View more from New York City

i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.

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(310): View more from California

we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos

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