Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
