we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
