After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
