Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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