You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
