it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Its about making memories worth repressing
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
