1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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