you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
