No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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