Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
