I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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