This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
