Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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