Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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