I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
jump out the window naked night went bad
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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