i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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