Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
