I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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