This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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