her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
