He felt like a one man threesome
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I want to be your penis for a week.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
