He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
