You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
