margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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