My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
