then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
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The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
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If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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