I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
