just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
