Please, let me fuck your mom
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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