We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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