you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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