I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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