He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize