watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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