You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
