I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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