Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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