Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
