her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We need a shit load of segways right now
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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