He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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