So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
