i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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