Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
