i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
