Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
