Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize