did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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