A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
