I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
