My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
