There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
