I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
