her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize